There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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