i may or may not be watching the land before time
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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