Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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