we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
