You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize