my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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