If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
