Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
