i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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