It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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