he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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