You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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