yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sext me about skeletons
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
