i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
