i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
