quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
