you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
