I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
