i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
