You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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