Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
