3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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