ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it glows. i had to have it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dick very happy bro
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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