We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize