I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
