Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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