Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
