Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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