If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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