I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
BRING THE BAGELS
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
