I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
