I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's blow job season.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
