She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
