Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
