he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
