He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Alive.
So much puke
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
