Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
