dude i'm inner monologue high
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
