You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
