i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
