what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
