Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
