1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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