True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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