every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize