how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
