Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
