I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize