As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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