yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
