Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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