i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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