Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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