did you get engaged???
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
