My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
