State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
