david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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