Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
