I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
