So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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