All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just cropdusted the office
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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